[whining] [squeaking] [game playing on tv] That’s a honey
of a tree, clark. Is it real? Yeah. Dug it out
of the ground myself. Is that a fact? Hey, get out of there!
Stop it! No! Don’t worry. A little tree water
ain’t going to hurt him. Before we left, He drank a half
a quart of pennzoil. Boy, when he lifted his leg
the next morning–whoa! Eddie, if he drinks
the water out of there, The tree’s gonna dry up.
Come on, out of there. Snot.
Out. Out. You get out of there.
Get in the kitchen now. Get in the kitchen and
get something to eat. Go on.
He’s cute, ain’t he? Only problem is,
he’s got a little bit Of mississippi
leg hound in him. If the mood
catches him right, He’ll grab your leg
and just go to town. You don’t want him around if
you’re wearing short pants, If you know what I mean. A word
of warning, though, If he does
lay into you, It’s best to just
let him finish. Tsk. I just can’t believe You’re actually standing here
in my living room, eddie. Never thought
the day would come. Yeah, I’m excited
about it, too. It’s a crying shame The older kids
couldn’t make it. I’ll get that.
Don’t worry about it. Let me do it. Yeah. I got the daughter
in the clinic, Getting cured off
the wild turkey. And the older boy,
bless his soul, Is preparing
for his career. College?
Carnival. You got to be proud. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, last season, He was a pixie dust spreader
on the tilt-a-whirl. He thinks that
maybe next year, He’ll be guessing
people’s weight Or barking for
the yak woman. No.
You ever see her? She’s got
these big horns Growing right out
above her ears, And she’s ugly as sin.