If Black Friday Were A Movie


– Black Friday, the official kick off to
the holiday shopping season, and no other town does it
quite as good as this one. Now let’s get out there and grab the best deal! – We really need a new TV. Look, they have the new
75-inch Tegu ultra-smart LED TV for 75% off. – Oh, yeah! If you’re one of the first ten shoppers in the store on Black Friday, and that’s never gonna happen. – Well why not? We have just as much of
a shot as anybody else. – I’m the number one shopper
in America three years running. I’m gonna buy all ten of those TVs, and I’m gonna sell them on ebay. – That’s not fair! – Don’t be a hero, Justin. Just give up. (maudlin piano music) – Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I was good at one thing. Getting things on sale. – Look, I know your dad
died trying to get a discman for 65% off in ’94. – And was it worth it? Was it? – You are not your father! I think it’s time for you to finally come out of the shadows! (sighing) – [Justin] This is what I have to do. – You’re Oz Meredith. You got the BluRay player
for 97% off back in 2012. – That was a long time ago. I shop online now. – We need you. I need you. – We start tomorrow. (dramatic orchestrated pop) You need to be in tip-top shape! Come on, you turkeys! This ain’t Cyber Monday! (aggressive, urban hip hop) This is the main show! You need to carry the box together! How bad can you want it? (heaving) Maybe you just ought to try Craig’s List. Get me a light bulb. Now VHS. No! Again! Now you’re cookin’! It’s about finesse. You trample the mannequin,
you trample the shopper. And we don’t trample people. You don’t need to elbow. Focus. Breathe. (screaming)
And be great together! – Zack, where are you going? Mom wants to know if you’re coming home for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. – I’ve got bigger plans. – What? (grunting) – Ryan, what happened to you? – Life. Life happened to me. You were never built for the
really big sales, Justin. All dreams and no fight. – I miss you, Justin. – [Ryan] This is Black Friday. – When you were born,
I promised your father that if anything ever happened to him… Do you get it? I’d take care of you. (mournful, spiritual music) – [Justin] Oz.
– [Other guy] Oz? – Oz, wake up, Oz. That’s it. I’m done. – It’s not over, Oz
would have wanted us… – Oz is dead! And I can’t do this alone! – You’re not alone. – Come. Join me. – I would rather play Call of Duty on a 32-inch standard
definition television with several broken pixels. (reverent music) – [Oz] You’ve had it
in you all along, kid. Your dad would be proud. This is about teamwork. This is about the man beside you. You will never be better than
when you are busting doors with your brother. Remember that. Find somebody you can trust. You can’t put a price on that. Can’t discount that. There’s no coupon for friendship, son. That’s not for sale. So get in there and pick what’s yours. Greatness, friendship… And the 75-inch Tegu Ultra TV. ♫ Witness what you got ♫ And it’s what it is ♫ This is how we ride ♫ This is how we live ♫ Yeah, that’s what it
takes to be the best, man – It’s here! It’s here. – [All] It’s here! – It’s here. – Get it. – Get it!
– Get it! – There. – I think they got it. Get it! – Yeah, you get it. – It’s here.

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