This is just how it is.
We all just wanna be different. This is how our generation is. We want our lives uniquely displayed on
facebook and instagram. We’re all the same. We all have the same
stuff from ikea at home, our parents have counted them
and from time to time it’s the weekend and then we get blackout drunk, right? Are you gonna get drunk tonight, Cologne?
Don’t disappoint me! Let’s get drunk! When guys drink, we can do that,
we know how to drink We know how to stretch the evening
and drink over a few hours it’s several hours we’re civilised drunks, I think guys, we’re skilled.
Girls? Meh. It happens extremely fast. I mean, girls are such elfin, charming beings you come to the party completely in control, you’re dressed nicely, smelling great your skin is soft and like princesses on unicorns you’re
gallopping through the party but once you start drinking things happen that even Romanian bus drivers
would be ashamed of drunk girls… it’s happens so fast there’s no in-between, only sober and blackout drunk! and in seconds! You come to the party
“yeah, hey, hi” *kissing sounds* 3 seconds later “Whooo!” “Let’s break into the local swimming pool!” “Whoo! Let’s go to the zoo and piss on a giraffe!” Your hair is wet, you’re losing your top… What did she drink? – A Coke Zero 20 minutes ago… They say guys become aggressive when drinking. No!
Drunk guys aren’t aggressive. Girls, you are aggressive. You always wanna… *mumbling* “Leave me alone” “Let go of me! You’re so… honestly, fuck you.” You’re talking to an advertising pillar! Us guys, we’re not aggressive,
we’re really calm beings. When guys are drunk, we’re very calm. Every party has this one guy who drank too much He’s not fighting with anyone! He’s standing on the exact same spot for hours Really, every house party has one guy in the far back corner, standing there for hours like a ski jumper in the air making a face as if he tried to
calculate the root of 48,000 *retching sound* “It’s okay, I swallowed it” Talking to a plant: “Everything’s fine” “It’s really okay” Eventually we’re staying in that position for hours. There’s a plant, here’s a speaker completely blended in with the interior design when a party guest turns into
a decorative piece of furniture Someone already put a bowl
of peanut chips on our head “Whoa I think I’m gonna go home” “But I’m not telling anyone” “Just pissing off quietly or
they’ll try to convince me to stay.” “Pissing off Polish style” And then we leave the party going backwards “Sorry, sorry” “I’m sorry, sorry” It’s great for party guests standing around – just seeing a bobbing bowl hopping through the living room And eventually we’re outside like “I’m going home now” “Shit, I didn’t tell anyone. I’m walking home.” “It’s 12 kilometres. I don’t give a fuck” “YOLO, I’m dreaming my life, man” You get great ideas. “Wow, 12 kilometres?” “Wow, that’s far” “I think I’m gonna sprint” And then we start running! And have never been this fast!
We’re impressed by our sprinting skill “OMG THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF RECORD!” “I’VE NEVER BEEN THIS FAST!” When you’d see him sober… you’d see
a guy walking along the sidewalk like: “I’ve never been this fast!” “This must be some kind of record!” “Just taking a quick power nap” “Sprinters always take power naps” “Are these my balls that I see?” But you can’t leave the party because it’s getting more awesome the longer it lasts. Drunks turn into kids at some point. Really. What started out as a student party
on the 3rd floor of some old building ends as the butterfly group of St. Joseph’s Kindergarten Drunks eventually become kids and there are always
the same things happening. At parties the same things happen.
At every party there’s a moment, in front of the house at the sidewalk there’s a girl sitting,
just slightly around the corner done with the world doomsday mood level 3000. sitting there, smeared eye liner “Somehow everything is… I don’t know” “Somehow everything is…somehow… I don’t know” “Somehow everything is I don’t know” “Somehow everything is just a bit difficult right now” Smokes a cigarette from the wrong end. Best friend beside her. “Hey, it’s not that bad.” “It’s really not that… LEAVE HER ALONE FOR A SEC” “Hey, it’s not… LEAVE HER ALONE FOR A SEC PLEASE!” “It’s not that bad…now…” “WATER! WATER!” Some guy walks by “Ladies, what’s up!” “Pascal, you can be such a dick sometimes!” “Go back inside!” “Go inside, Pasc – I’m serious!” “Go back inside! Close the door.” “CLOSE THE DOOR!” “Hey Sweetie, hey.” “Hey Sweetie, hey, hey. It’s…” “Go back inside now!” “No one noticed that you’re here crying.” “First, an Airwaves Cassis” “Hey, it’s not that bad. Tell me what happened.” “HE DID NOT!” “ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?!” “Hey it’s not that bad…” “Always remember: Don’t dream your life.” “But live your dream!” Always the same things at parties. Also, what happens, it’s always great! When a stone-cold sober guy picks up
his completely drunk girlfriend. Oh that’s nice. Oh when that sober guy… when he picks up
his girlfriend? Put your drink down and gather some spectators It’s great, really. Everyone’s got a vibe It’s 3am, party’s on, everyone’s dancing, you know There’s making out and more, talking,
everyone’s got that vibe. and then that sober guy RACES through that party With a different temperature than everyone else Everyone’s partying and he’s like: “Lena? Where’s Lena? Lena?!” “That’s a wardrobe. LENA!” “Where… hello Sergej!” And he tries to get his girlfriend at 3am into his car And Lena doesn’t really want that Girls tend to turn into kids then
that have been too long to the amusement park that poor guy stands there like: “Get in the car please! Please get in the car now!
Put your seatbelt on!” “Put…Now we…Now put…” “No the seatbelt doesn’t make you look fat! Please put it on” “Please get in. Where are your shoes? You didn’t come barefoot” “Where are your shoes? I’M NOT SHOUTING!” “I JUST WANT YOU TO GET IN THE CAR!” “No, I don’t hate you.” “I love you. Yes, to the moon and BACK!” “NO, WE’RE NOT GOING TO MCDONALD’S!” “ONE…” “TWO…” “TWO AND A HALF…” “Why are you shouting like that?” “I didn’t do anything!” “Now you’ve talked and now I’ll talked [sic]!
I have to…” “I gotta tell y-” *retching sound* *retching sound* “I…uaah” “PSHH, I gotta-” *retching*
“I got-” “PSHH, because I gotta…pshh” “PSHH!” “I need to tell you…pshh…a secret.” “I drank a little bit too much.” “Why are you crying now?” “I don’t know…” “Everything’s a bit difficult right now”