Pete Holmes – Nice Try, The Devil – This Party Is McDonald’s

Pete Holmes – Nice Try, The Devil – This Party Is McDonald’s

– Thanks for having a good time. That’s the worst thing to do when you’re actually having
a good time is to declare it. (audience laughs) I do that all the
time, if I’m at a party and we are having
a fun time I’ll go, “Oh man, fun with friends!” Not anymore. You just ruined it. I’ll actually teach you guys
the worst thing you can say. Do you guys want to learn
the worst thing you can say? I’ve figured it out. If you’re at a party and you
actually are having a fun time, wait for there to be a lull in your little
horseshoe of friends. Statistically every 11 minutes. And just look at them and go, “Oh man, this party
is McDonald’s.” (audience laughs) “I’m lovin’ it.” (audience laughs) That’s it! That’s the worst
thing you can say! Feel how you feel right now? Violated. That joke changes
your core temperature. The feeling of hearing
that joke is the feeling of getting hit in the face
with a living lobster. That’s what that
joke feels like. And everyone falls for it. I don’t care care how
smart you are, like, “This party’s McDonald’s.” “What?” (audience laughs) “What do you mean by that?” “What does he mean by that?” “What do you mean by that, sir?” “I’m lovin’ it.” (bleep) you! (audience applauds) (bleep) you, sir! Everyone falls for it. You have this, this is a
tool in your tool belt now. You didn’t know you were gonna
leave better than you came. (audience laughs) If you’re on a date, you
just don’t give a shit about the date, you knew right
away, you’re like, “Nope!” (audience laughs) Sabotage the date, wait for
a lull and just look at them and be like, “Oh man, (audience laughs) “this date is McDonald’s.” (audience laughs) And there’s a timing to it. It’s a three count
or two dry swallows. I’m lov – they’re gone,
they are not there. They are not there
when you come back.

100 thoughts on “Pete Holmes – Nice Try, The Devil – This Party Is McDonald’s

  1. I just tried this with my friend on facebook and everything Pete said is incredibly true. He unfriended me.

  2. ..i think so, as soon as he said "im loving it" i was like "jyep!, thats him" lol
    good observationals

  3. Also Fat Val Kilmer. Which doesn't work that well anymore because Val's kinda fat now, and Pete isn't.

  4. I was really excited for this special, but I was pretty let down by it. I can't stand when comedians laugh at their own jokes and he did this for pretty much every joke on this special.

  5. I loved his special and I didn't notice him laughing at his own jokes because I was too busy laughing at them.

  6. Dane cook rip off….and Dane Cook is the ultimate rip off lol. Then he just milks the same joke….geez, this couldn't get any worse. What a waste of 2 min…

  7. He does not look up to Dane Cook he just points out people love to hate Dane Cook because he sells out Madison square garden. Al

  8. I love it how Pete Holmes laughs at his own jokes. haha It shows u that his material is comedic gold. Pete Holmes' comedy is McDonalds…………I'm lovin' it.

  9. "What do you- what does he mean by that? What do you mean by that, sir?!" "I'm lovin' it." "Fuck. You." Gold.

  10. Because you can't blame him; what he's saying is so hilarious, even he has to laugh. Also, I think maybe he's self-deprecating enough to balance it out.

  11. That's the best thing to say are you kidding me.As of today I'm using that from now on. This video is McDonalds I'm Loving it!

  12. Did a version of this to my partner. As we laid in bed, "Your body's McDonald's . . . I'm loving it."
    She's now the one who got away.

  13. hello pete if you are still on youtube. I was wondering if you are interested in doing a street fighter 5 comedy on their character. laura/blanka/c-viper/and that rubber freak from street fighter rd3 strike/rose these characters have lighting ability. and also ryu/ken/dan/akuma/sakura/alen/kiri/gouken/ they all do the moves LOL. damn I miss you making fun of street fighter

  14. thanks for the punchline in the title. now the whole thing is ruined. pure cancer. and please someone get pete a comb. i need to see his john ritter forhead 🙂

  15. lol so true about the first part on declaring having fun when doing so. Would be great to hear someone say the Mcdonald's one though. maybe after said quote pull out a cheeseburger from mcd's out of your pocket and just shove it in your face going into an electrified orgasm with lightning arching everywhere and whipping chicken nuggets as hard as can at people in room with you for not accepting the golden arches as a noble pursuit and the worship of idolatrous burger kings leading to chin chin being displeased. I tried.

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