The King of Stupid Questions | Dennis Regan |  Dry Bar Comedy

The King of Stupid Questions | Dennis Regan | Dry Bar Comedy

Sometimes the teachers would say
this they’d say there’s no such thing
as a stupid question. I liked it when they… You know what I would do
when they said that? I would raise my hand. “Yes, Mrs. Baxter is it possible for a 12 year old boy to get pregnant from reading
comic books?” No no. OK I got some misinformation
from my older brother. [ laughter ] College was different though.
Professors, the college Professors they never said it
was, there was no such thing as a stupid question. Know why?
Because they knew better than that.
You don’t get to be a college professor and still hold
the belief there’s no such thing as a stupid question. So in college I need a different
strategy, a different tactic because I didn’t want to study
or do the assignments or anything like that. So I’d
come up with smart questions that would make me sound smart
to the teachers you know so when they were giving the grades
they might think, “Hey.” “Yes, Professor, after perusing
the copious reading assignments which you ungrudgingly designate
as compulsory it has become abundantly clear to me
that the incipient and might I say pandemic rise
of quantitative easing in post holographic arena spawns
a situation and In fact the conundrum, in which
the widespread growth of existential and even
dystopian paradigms will threaten to dominate
the landscape for the foreseeable future. Having said that, how
would you therefore postulate a quid pro quo complexivication
from a nihilistic standpoint, and being broadly
contemporaneous would that postulation even be
germane to the philosophical dogma of the period? And, secondly, [ laughter ] because this is really a two
part question…” [ laughter ] Didn’t like math.
Math, math was my least favorite subject.
You like school? You in school?
You’re in school now. What’s your name? -Jonelle. -Jonelle, what are you studying? -Nursing. -Nursing. I studied docting, doctoring. What do they call it, medicine? It was a lot. It’s a
lot. I dropped out after two years of high school. No I didn’t like being a doctor
I was a doctor for one day. Everybody complains about
everything and I’m just like, I can’t do this. Nah,
I think I couldn’t. I don’t like math. Math is my
least favorite subject. Actually it’s like a five way tie for my least favorite
subject. The thing about math was that
you could try. You could try, try to pay
attention just look out the
window for two minutes, come back and your lost forever. You might as well just look out
the window again. You’re never going to get
to get back on track. It’s not like you could say to
the teacher, “Yes, yes, could you repeat
that?” Yes because I was staring out
the window.” I saw the birds fly
and I was thinking, “Gosh what if I could fly? I would fly away that’s
for sure. Fly away
from you in your lesson. Your stupid lesson.” [ laughter ] I was OK with math until they
got up to addition. I was cool with counting. Algebra, algebra 3, That was the worst class ever,
algebra 3. I didn’t actually take algebra 3 I took algebra 1, 3 times. But, uh, that’s addition. I was wrong back in the day I
would tell the teacher I’m never going to use this algebra stuff
and I always tell the teacher I’m never gonna use this algebra
but you don’t use it very much but once in a while I use
algebra. Like a few months back I was in the train station
in Baltimore and train A was going to be leaving the station
at 5pm traveling west at 80
miles per hour. And train B was going to be
leaving the station 3 hours later on a parallel
track but going a hundred miles per hour. And winds are out of the
Southeast at 18 miles per hour. And there was a 30 percent
chance of rain. The Dow Jones had dropped 200
points that day. The Nasdaq was up 40.
I weighed 195 pounds. My blood pressure was 122 over
60. The Kansas City Chiefs had a record of eight and two atop
the leaderboard of the AFC West and I had to figure out
what train to get on. [ laughter ] Luckily, there’s an app for that
now. [ laughter ] It’s called ‘choo-choo’. Chu-chu, C-H-U C-H-U. Just get the free version, good
enough. Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy for even more of the world’s largest
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100 thoughts on “The King of Stupid Questions | Dennis Regan | Dry Bar Comedy

  1. I like how everyone laughs and claps but I guarantee no one knows what he was saying in that question or how nonsensical it was to ask a teacher to do what you want to do because the work is getting in the way. But you still get a crowd of idiots going hahaha he asked the teacher a big question with big words we don’t understand hahahahah!

  2. that question… ah meee… shades of the late great George Carlin at his wittiest. believe it or not, mr. Carlin Could do clean bits and they were Amazing to watch.
    it's does my old heart good to see something of that lightening wit come around in a new generation with the same edge but less of the swearing.
    don't get me wrong, i'm not against swearing, per sé. but it has its place and a Good comedian shouldn't Need to swear in order to be funny. but it's been said by many of the greats that clean comedy is a lot harder to do because there's no safety net of using curse words as a prop in it.

  3. I agree with the premise. Quantitative easing is a pernicious, and might I say tyrannical, practice that unscrupulously pilfers from the Proletariat in order to enrich those who control its administration — thus, squandering the prosperity that was reaped by means of erudition and diligence. They do so through the pervasion of mendacities, and spurious claims espoused by political fiduciaries; thus, unabashedly perpetuating the egregious licentiousness that is inherent amongst our political elites.

  4. I studied chemical engineering. Match was my least favourite subject. On a question I replied: in a polymer chain reaction stages-initiation, progression and termination, I like termination. The lady professor sweetly said: OK, class over for today and left. That's understanding!

  5. Love this guy. Saw him at Flappers in Burbank, CA! He rocked the club and a lot of it was just him talking with audience members that night. Hilarious guy! See him live if you can ???

  6. You don't have to use obscene and profane language to be funny.
    Comedy is a gift from God like music or teaching. What you do with your talent is your choice.
    True comedy can be clean never having to use bad words or double entendre. God bless those who can cheer up the down trodden and sad heated.

  7. Stupid Questions are Questions from the
    Stupid.Ask yourself:-,Am I Stupid?
    (That is the most stupid Question).❤️.

  8. That part about algebra really got me because I got lost in that class because I was looking out the window. Never did recover.

  9. This is probably completely off topic, but when I studied in a Finnish university (I'm a Finn) we had a teacher who held her classes in English. Everything else was presented in rather refined English, but for the first 2 or 3 lessions I was puzzled by the word "receipts" she kept on saying time and time again. I was almost shocked when I finally understood that she meant to say "research"… Luckily I never asked a stupid question about the meaning of "receipts".

  10. “Math was my least favorite subject. Well, it was a five way tie.”
    One of many lines I’m stealing from this video.

  11. ? Well, all I’m comfortable saying right now is that American humour is very different to British humour! Also, if I was ever going to begin a Career as a Stand-up Comic, I would aim to start in the US, as it appears the crowds are quite a bit easier ???‍♂️


    They say science says yeah signs also says that a man and address is not a woman physically speaking!

    Identify with the weather not wrecking the world in 10 years identify with that because Jesus Christ has transformed me into a trans Christian meaning I'm set free from the ignorance that has you believing in the nonsense of climate change and people thinking they can just say what generally are and poof so it is.

    God's going to be all like no it isn't I said in the beginning it is written man and women God created their male and female!

  13. I guess by reading these comments below I’m the only person who finds this guy as boring as a double algebra class???????????

  14. I had a very tuff teacher in grade school that used to say…”Ok now, let’s not have any stupid questions here.” We never raised our hands.

  15. When Clive Sinclair coded the scientific calculator from an ordinary one I genuinely thought they would drop math in schools.
    What on Earth is the point?

  16. When my Dad used to set that train question to us children, the question at the end was always "What was the engine driver's name?" And the answer was always "Smith – because his father's name was Smith"

  17. I’ve heard someone say there’s no such thing as a stupid question just stupid people asking questions. Cheers Bill

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